Dads. Moms. Grandparents. “Uncles”. I feel your pain! The children have been bustlin’ and cussin’ about how they’re so bored and there’s nothing fun to do and you’re “just a useless bag of bones” that “isn’t worthy of love.” Kids are brutal! I’ve been there. My kid once asked me why I was an idiot–just out of nowhere–and not even in a rude way, but like genuine curiousity.
I can’t remember my answer, but I remember crying.
And with Spring Break right around the corner, I am here to help you avoid those moments of harsh truth and unruly brats. Because there are actually some super fun things to do in Newnan that won’t cost you the big bucks. Kids can be entertained with the small things, you just have to know where to look.
This list was created by my 8-year old daughter and that is where you should look.
Ice Cream at Rock Salt Milk Bar
This is a no-brainer! Kids love ice cream! Type 1 diabetic dads love the smell of ice cream! And supporting small businesses is always the right choice when it comes to dropping a dollar (or fifteen) for an ice cream. Sure, you can swing through a drive-thru while the kids are on their phones and talk to robo-employee about what you want, but that loses the magic of LIVE ICE CREAM PICKING!
Take your kid in-person. Watch their face light up at the choices. Engage with your scoopers. Leave a nice tip! Nothing beats live ice cream performances. It’s greater than the Super Bowl and World Series Combined (Super Series? World Bowl?).
I asked my kid her favorite flavor and she hit me with the “I dunno,” which means there’s too many good choices (and not that she hates talking to me).
The World Bowl of Ice Cream. Gotta love it.
Run Around the Grass on the Square
Trigger Warning: Not Racist.
During the Newnan Black Lives Matter protests, Harold spent a considerable amount of time fighting for equality and accountability. And while Harold stomped around with signs, his lil’ Harold ran around in the grass with new friends. There was never a fear of them running into traffic or a peepin’ sneakin’ Tom trying and scoop em up. All you had to do was unleash the kid in the grass and they ran around for hours. Like a goat! Or a donkey! Or a chicken! Or a squirrel! Say GO and let ’em live. We were the farmers of fun.
And now anytime we visit Downtown, the lil’ one asks about the grass. Who knew grass could be so fun?
:weed joke:
Jump on Stage at Newnan Theatre Company
OK. This one isn’t for everyone, but my kid mentioned it immediately so it’s gotta go on the list.
If you are lucky enough to experience Newnan Theatre Company’s magic, then you know the kids love getting up there! And I’m not talking about “in a show” specifically, just seeing a stage flips a switch in Kid-Brain that forces them up there!
Maybe it’s between acts? Maybe it’s post-show? Maybe it’s when you ask the ghost nicely to let you inside? Whenever you can make it happen, your kid will love their moments pretending to be actors.
But like, please don’t get on the stage without permission. This is not permission!
Go to Newnan Sk8 Supply
This is a weird one. I’m going to be honest, I’ve never stepped foot in there. You have to go UPSTAIRS to enter the store. What is that about? It’s not a Sears! I won’t shop anywhere that requires stairs! I won’t even go up my own stairs at home! I just lay at the bottom and groan until my wife brings the bed to me.
But apparently, up the hoity-toity stairs, lies a magical place to magically excite the magic of kids!
What could be up there? I dunno! I’m assuming skates and supplies. But my lil’ Harry loves popping up there just to browse.
It’s important to note my kid can’t skateboard at all.
The Little Ramps at the Skate Park
And while she can’t skate for shit, she sure can SCOOTER.
Our new Skate Park (CJ Smith Smithsonian Skate Park? I don’t remember the name, but I think I’m close) is genius in it’s design for skaters of all ages/skill. Even I, a 33-year trash bag dad, can do some of the smaller obstacles on my scooter.
But we’re not here to entertain SAGBAGDADS, we are here to entertain your kids. And if you haven’t let them experience CJJ the Jet Plane Skate Park, you’re a terrible parent.
The more experienced skaters are always so good with the kids–taking full responsibility of avoiding a crash and helping out a fallen soldier. By the time you want to leave you’ll have picked 6-10 new, vaping teenagers to hire as a babysitter.
It’s a great place with great people all playing with a shared interest. Where else can you find that?
Plus, you can get a contact high. Bring snacks.
Newnan Time with Harold 