Come one, come all, ye who is of nerditude! Today, we are discussing proof of intellicuality and virginity: books. I’m not suggesting everyone who reads books is a virgin, but I’ve never met a *virgin who can’t read.
*of legal age.
Oof… what am I even writing right now…
Let’s refocus. This is a crucial conversation about the significance of books and the role of book clubs in our community.
I had difficulty gaining information when researching “book clubs” in Newnan. Books unite people, support artists, promote small businesses, intensify alone time, and give bored townsfolk a reason to rant about icky things in the library. Simply put, books are the backbone of the world, and Newnan has a digital distraction problem.
The beginning of any worthy book club is people in public passionate about pages. You find yourselves lost in a shared solidarity. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing; I’m just saying, “Hahahahahahahaha! You like books!”
That’s where I come in (not to mock you, but to offer ideas). When directing a show, improv class, or group of hooligans trying to tag “Gooch” all over Newnan, I always say I welcome solutions, not complaints. I want to hear “what if.” So, what if we started a book club…
A Great Great Grandchildren of the Civil War Book Club
If there’s one thing that’s tried-n-true-n-shine about Coweta, we love discussing our ancestors’ involvement in the Civil War. It’s like the “my dad’s a cop” of being an adult in the South. Do y’all like talking about
Great Grandpa General Lawabiding McKinnon? Always. Does he even exist? Doubt it. But I’m not here to prove your family tree is just oil change mechanics. I’m here to believe you and offer the idea of a Great Great Grandchildren of the Civil War Book Club!
I have no idea what my great-great grandparents did, but since I have chosen not to do any research, it’s safe to say they were both Grand Marshals of the Civil War Kitchen Splatoons. I am part of the family (hug emoji).
If you’re reading this and identify as a GGGCW, chances are your eyesight is fading. We must get through this idea quickly, so you can help me with book suggestions before the eyesight goes (sad face emoji).
With 325 pages of incredible stories, facts, figures, and females, we would want to have Women in the Civil War as our Book of the Month for June (or whenever Women’s History Month is–I’m assuming June cuz it’s such a beautiful month… ladies (wink face emoji)).
During the Civil War, women played a crucial role in various capacities, including serving in the army by disguising themselves as men. It is estimated that between 400 to 700 women served, with records indicating that approximately 60 women soldiers were killed or wounded.
This work highlights over sixty women who served the Union or Confederacy during the Civil War. Some notable figures include Sarah Thompson, a Union spy and nurse who played a key role in the capture of the famous raider John Hunt Morgan; Elizabeth Van Lew, a Union spy instrumental in orchestrating the Civil War’s largest prison break; Sarah Malinda Blalock, who initially fought for the Confederacy as a soldier and later for the Union as a guerrilla raider; and Dr. Mary Walker, a Union doctor who is the only woman to have received the Congressional Medal of Honor for her service during the Civil War.
And you know what piques my curiosity?
“Others”
There’s an endless list of possibilities regarding Women in the Civil War: cat farmers, the first hippy, poker champions, a Superhero, maybe three little Carolina boys hiding under a woman’s trenchcoat, to name a few.
I’m assuming that for Civil War relatives and people who iron their Confederate flags, the creation of Marvel’s Civil War is a frustrating one. It used to be that saying “Civil War” meant something everyone understood: a battle of obvious good and bad between the obvious good guys and obvious bad guys of America. Then Marvel did what they always do: steal our history and add some ink to it. It’s the same thing they did with Marvel’s Resurrection of Tony Stark Christ.
The Civil War story explores conflicting values of freedom and security against a backdrop of real-life events and discussions, such as the U.S. government’s increased surveillance of its citizens. The plot revolves around the U.S. government passing a Superhero Registration Act to have super-powered individuals operate under official regulation, similar to law enforcement. Superheroes opposing the act, led by Captain America, find themselves in conflict with its supporters, led by Iron Man. Spider-Man is caught in the middle, while the X-Men remain neutral for the survival of mutantkind. The superheroes supporting the law, including Mister Fantastic and Ms. Marvel, become increasingly authoritarian.
The good news is that the Civil War comic event is incredible. I’m not promising that a 60-year-old woman will love it as much as I do, but she will at least be shocked by what happens to Human Torch. HE DIDN’T DESERVE IT!
During the American Civil War in 1864, American journalists Joseph Howard Jr. and Francis Mallison of the Brooklyn Eagle attempted a financial hoax known as the Civil War Gold Hoax or the Bogus Proclamation of 1864. They aimed to take advantage of the uncertainty surrounding the war and profit from it. The two journalists bought gold on margin and then tried to spread a fake proclamation from President Abraham Lincoln to New York newspapers. The false proclamation called for a national day of prayer and the conscription of 400,000 additional men into the Union army. Howard and Mallison hoped that this fake news would lead investors to believe that the war was not going well, causing them to abandon the Union greenback currency and instead buy gold, which would drive up its price. With the price of gold artificially inflated, the conspirators could sell high and make a lot of money before anyone realized the proclamation was a forgery. Considering the Civil War is so non-divisive, it’s good to dig up a hoax or two to give us all something to discuss.
This book is dual-purposed:
It is an exciting book to read and discuss.
It’ll help you with the four dozen opossums in your house, garage, and garbage. Your little opossum babies will be adequately cared for. We know you have the Civil War to adore, but you shouldn’t neglect the ever-growing, jumbo-rat family you obviously also have. Parenting is hard! But if you have chosen this lifestyle, they deserve to be embraced like your ancestors would.
Everybody has their own unique and adorable favorite wildlife animal. Some people choose the opossum. However, if you’re reading this, you really need to consider the opossum! It is a misunderstood animal that plays a vital role in the forest ecosystem. Opossums may not win beauty contests, but once you learn about their special “superpowers,” you will gain a greater respect and admiration for them. There are many misconceptions people have about opossums. This book will guide you through them and help you better understand these misunderstood marsupials (the only marsupials in North America).
You’d think of 40+ page book about lizard-tailed-monsters would be an easy and appropriate read, but according to the reviews, this book holds some dark pages:
The book is NOT appropriate for children. Amazon should require that books that might be of interest to young children must include recommended age range. Clever marketing ploy?
- Ravi
1.0 out of 5 stars NOT appropriate for young children.
The idea of a book about opossums being a clever marketing ploy to disturb children? Guys. Seriously. If ancestors of the Civil War wouldn’t love that, I don’t know who would!
Newnan Time with Harold 