If it’s a new week in Newnan, then there’s a new Mexican restaurant opening within five minutes of you. This isn’t a bad thing—it’s a wonderful thing! If there’s one thing anyone on the political scale can agree with, it’s “daddy, let’s get some chips and salsa.” The great equalizer, the ballot to-go box, the Margaritaville with open borders—you love it. I love it.
But is there something to love in Zokalo Mexicantina?
With price tags that make you cringe, a robot that makes you laugh, a staff that covers your needs, and flavor just good enough to “get by,” we’d save this place for special occasions and keep our regulars our regulars.
Love it
For starters (sorry, for appetizers), this place is gorgeous! The only thing about it that gives you that “authentic Mexican restaurant feel” is the television screens playing half a dozen soccer games you would never, ever, absolutely never watch anywhere else. We don’t mind it! It helps distract us from carrying on a real-life conversation, but it doesn’t quite fit into the otherwise elegant atmosphere.
The artwork is simple but purposeful, the place is unbelievably clean, the lighting is just enough to hide your worst facial features, and the music is at just the right volume to distract you from falling too deep into the realities of your life. This place is an emotional escape, and that’s what all great restaurants should strive to be.
In transparency, we went on a Monday night, which is in no way expected to cause a significant “dinner rush” for their business. By the time we left close to 7:30, there were still 6 or 7 booths open for customers. But that doesn’t mean this ferocious waitstaff wouldn’t be able to handle it because they were excellent.
Look, I’m an elephant. I drink so many liquids. I blow through a Diet Coke in under two minutes. I guzzle water. I never forget. My tusks are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. For me, a good sign of a server is when they always keep one of my two cups filled. BINGO, Zokalo!
Not only was my server excellent, but a few extra servers would make trips between our booths, look up and down each seating area, and ensure things looked right. Or they were looking for dropped coins to use on a gumball machine. Hmmmmm….
This was an exceptional “date” spot. We had much fun discussing the menu, presentations, decor, staff, robot, customers, music, and how cute I looked. I am a fan of any location that helps me appear to be worth dating.
One would hope that I’d include a handful of menu items in my list of “loves,” but the truth is that I’d only include the cheese dip. I am not convinced that any restaurant uses different cheese dips—they just heat them up differently.
Even if that’s true (it is), Zokalo knows the magic temp for a cheese dip. This stuff was incredible. I was ripping off pieces of my taco shell to slink up the last drips on the side of the bowl.
Bonus: this is also the first place I’ve ever seen a ROBOT SERVER!
Like it
I wanted to love the food. Just look at it! It looked exactly like the menu pictures: it’s a large serving, it’s colorful, it’s naughty (maybe that’s just me), and it smelt awesome. But it was what I find true about most Mexican restaurants: it’s too afraid to burst with flavor.
If you put 20 burgers from 20 places in Newnan in front of me, I can tell you where each one is from as I gargle down them beefy-budcowsters. Does it taste like it’s been sleeping in a tent with lemon pepper wings? That’ll be Taco Mac. Grease trap that refuses to break up with a slice of cheese? McDonald’s. Junior varsity bread with an NCAA meat? Meat N Greet, baby.
But call me a “palette nimrod” because I think all these tacos taste the same. If I’m ordering a $22 lobster taco dish, I want to taste that lobster! I want that lobster to be so strong in flavor that I can’t taste anything else for a week! For $22 in Newnan, I should have lobster eggs growing inside me when I eat a lobster taco! All of that needs to be accomplished. It tasted like a taco with interchangeable toppings.
And that is not to say any of the toppings were bad! The taco was good. But Zokalo has a plethora of incredible-sounding options, and my first experience already has me thinking it’ll be just a variety in presentation—not in taste. I am fine with good, but there are cheaper options for good. I had a better time swirling the dropped toppings into my rice and creating my own dish (with that sweet, sweet cheese drizzle).
Did Not Like
The price is high, and at the end of the day, we associate the pricing with the quality of food (though I bet that robot costs a few thouso). We spent $60 on two plates, no alcohol, 1 cheese dip. If you’re a big businessman pilot in Summer Grove, this is Dollar Tree money for you! But for us lamemans, it starts to break you down.
I think of any cost in terms of “How many video games could I have bought instead?” For Zokalo, I could’ve bought a next-gen game for my Xbox and had it to play for ETERNITY, but instead, I got heavenly cheese dip to meet a robot, my drinks refilled, and some good food. All of that is now irrelevant, so guess what? I sure’m not playing a new video game right now!
If you dropped most of the menu by $4-$6, this place would be on my go-to list for future celebrations. But now I’m mostly interested in returning just to see if the lobster taco is an exception rather than the rule.
C-
(the letter grade is my personal feelings, the +/- is based on what I think the public, not as important as Harold, would feel)
VERDICT: I will return to Zokalo within the next few years and I’d encourage locals to try it out at least once, especially if you are someone who can enjoy a big, fat margarita and tell me how good it was.
Newnan Time with Harold 