Before anyone messages me about how you don’t know what you’re talking about! Newnan is so safe because I open, carry, and drive a pick-up truck! You’re just a coward! Please don’t make me kick your *ss to show you how safe Newnan is! The information provided in the post below comes from… wait for it… research! And not just any research, but… wait for it… online research! And if you can’t believe everything you find online, what’s the point of this DANGIT!
Question 1) Does it FEEL like Newnan has a crime problem?
I live a quaint little fairy life. I flutter through the dog park; I sip on the nectar of Lime Coke Zero from Zaxby, I’m stopped in public and frolicked over because I make people laugh, my kid loves me, and people ignore me. It is heaven. And oooooh baby, do you know what that’s worth? Harold’s heaven is a place on earth.
I can’t remember the last time someone crimed at me. Oh. Wait. Yeah, I can.
I was taking my trash bin to the road (isn’t trash bin a British saying? If so, sorry, I should’ve said garbage gobbler) while neglecting to wear a shirt. A neighbor of mine walked by and decided that because I was shirtless and taking my garbage gobbler to the road, he would threaten to “beat my ass” and “send this f*ck boy back to bed.”
It was quite an intense reaction to freeing the nip. I laughed in his face.
Built. Differently. Baby.
Aside from that, I live a quaint little fairy life. I flutter through the dog park; I sip on the nectar of Lime Coke Zero from Zaxby, I’m stopped in public and frolicked over because I make people laugh, my kid loves me, and people ignore me. It is heaven. And oooooh baby, do you know what that’s worth? Harold’s heaven is a place on earth.
Wait. Sorry.
Newnan feels safe in my slice of Earthven.
Question 2) Is it safe, you idiot Harold?
According to the internet, it sure isn’t!
The crime rate in Newnan, GA, is higher than the national average. The violent crime rate in Newnan is 28, which is 5.3 points higher than the US average of 22.7. Similarly, the property crime rate in Newnan is 41.4, which is 6 points greater than the US average of 35.4. This suggests that Newnan has a generally higher crime rate than most other places in the country. It’s important to understand that this doesn’t necessarily mean that Newnan is an unsafe place – instead, it simply means that residents should take extra precautions to protect their safety and property while living there. – Best Places
6 points HIGHER?! That means if I walked down the street 6 times, 6 of those times would involve a mugging! Or, wait, I wonder if that’s how it works.
If the above information is accurate, I am genuinely shocked but embarrassed because it means I’m not paying enough attention. Here are some stats leading up to 2019:
Reading and understanding stats can be confusing and often misleading. While this appears to show that Newnan is a crime hotbed based on population, I like to pretend it says that other places are just lying! Who would benefit from making Newnan look worse?
Looking at you, The Peachtree City Pineapple Strangler…
source neighborhoodscout
Even with these numbers, I feel safe where I go and what I do. Yeah, I carry (pepper spray, I’m afraid of guns), and I have big muscles (no, I don’t), and I’m a white man (this one is true–sorry), so I don’t have to worry as much about my safety as a lot of you will. But I can’t speak for anyone but myself (and every other former homeschooler–we have a blood pact). But even then, the “chances of becoming a victim of a violent crime” stat stuffs my craw a little bit! I’m going to be honest; I don’t want someone to violent crime me.
In this dial of 2022 data, you’ll see that Grantville is the only nearby city worse than us. GRANTVILLE! Grantville is just a bunch of neighbors taking turns robbing from a gas station that only sells cigarettes and Monster energy drinks (not even gas!). Of course, they’re higher. But no one else? Can’t even get Whitesburg numbers? That’s easily the most embarrassing stat thus far. If it ain’t White(sburg) it ain’t right(sburg).
I do not have stories of an unsafe Newnan, and I’m having a bit of FOMO. If you’ve got a story you’re willing to share (use a fake name if that makes you more comfortable), please fill out the form below. We would love to share it and hopefully connect these stats to some real-life experiences.
Be safe! If you or a loved one ever feels in danger, contact the local police or a trustworthy friend or family member.
Newnan Time with Harold 