Picture this: Newnan, Peachtree City, and Fayetteville walk into a bar and sit at the counter. Peachtree City and Fayetteville start talking to one another, making Newnan feel so left out. Newnan turns to the right and sparks a conversation with a quaint place called Senoia. Mid-conversation, this loud and gaudy figure saunters into the bar, exclaiming, “Ruh roh! Serenbe in the house!” Senoia rolls its eyes so aggressively that it automatically turns the clock back an hour, and Newnan leans in and says, “You know, I’m not like those other country suburbs.”
Newnan, Georgia, a true historic melting pot. Well, it’s more like a cast-iron skillet that has been passed down by your Mee-maw that much sooner met the side of your trifling ass Grandpappy’s head before it met a cleaning rag. It’s a place rich with history and heritage, and most definitely, in no way hate JUST heritage; please believe me, bro; it’s just heritage, for real, like don’t even google Sam Hose or Mitchell Daniel; it’s just heritage, bro, for real.
When it comes to the ingredients that cake the walls of this old melting cast-iron skillet pot, it’s easily divided into two distinct categories: people and places. The people are as nuanced and complex as they are bad, great, and everything in between. The places reflect similarly, as you encounter community staples that frankly aren’t that good but have an ephemeral presence in the town. The creation of community icons is something Newnan is excellent at, an achievement that outpaces most other country suburbs. Now, this thrusts us into a position of asking ourselves, “What the hell is a Newnan anyways?”
Let’s start with the people. Newnan is surprisingly diverse, but spend enough time on Nextdoor, and it quickly gets narrow in thought, socioeconomic, and racial backgrounds. It is an interesting place where you can witness two cars side-by-side on Bullsboro, going to the same place but with vastly different profiles. One has a Georgia Tech Alumni license plate, the other has “F JOE AND THE HOE” in duct tape on their rear window. It’s a blend of sweet and salty, except the salty is a 1lb collection of salt that will kill you if consumed quickly. So, where is the commonality with a population like this? In a town full of Roberts, Bobbys and Bubbas the commonality comes down to the places they all dwell in. If you thought my clear delineation of people and places earlier was going to have two disparate sections about them, welcome to being wrong playboy.
“Places,” you mumble to yourself as you brush Chick-fil-A hashbrown crumbs off your shirt onto the floor of your car. What are places? “Places” is a Czech film with generally poor reviews, but places is what makes Newnan special. Downtown Newnan is the hub of unique offerings, providing a true hometown feel and an impression that this place is just different. After a long, tense conversation with one of the Confederate soldiers in front of the courthouse, you can turn in any direction that helps define The Square and the people of Newnan.
You may find a true gem like Vinylyte Records and Skate Shop or a true gym like Piedmont Newnan Fitness Center. You can wrap up a Silver Spurs workout with a god-awful Chai Latte at Leaf and Bean, which has the flavor of “15 boiled condoms” according to a trusted source. Stumble a few more feet, the treasure trove of Newnan’s few bars, The Alamo, appears. The Alamo is a great place to run into your ex from high school or your English teacher from high school, and if you are unfortunate enough, that could be the same person. The music? Too loud. The bathrooms? Reminiscent of the Titanic in the way there is no sink (that’s a great pun, dammit). As you run out of The Alamo, mortified that you saw Mommy kissing a man who looked like Santa Claus, you sprint towards safety at The Red Letter Merchant. As you tear open that door and become instantly hit with the serene air of a vintage clothing store, you feel at ease. This is great because, after the sight of Mommy getting intimate with Santa Claus and your boiled condom drink, you feel like absolute shit.
Take a moment, collect yourself. You tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful house” and “This is not my beautiful wife,” which are correct statements because this is The Red Letter Merchant, and that is Tony, the owner. As much as you want to comb through the vast inventory and leave with a killer Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 shirt from 2005, it’s time to go and absorb the bigger picture. What is this bigger picture? Well, Newnan has an underlying current of cool, carried primarily by younger locals who are redefining this space by shaking the Etch-a-Sketch and not modifying the past. The elements of this cool have a comfortable juxtaposition with the squatted trucks and Alan Jackson mural.
You hit the streets on the hunt for your next stop, of course somewhere to eat. Strut as you must, you’re going to start taking in the surprising options of a place like the square. You pass a restaurant that has received the unofficial award of “Safest from a Vampire Attack” due to its name alone, Garlic Thai. Garlic is widely adored, a haven for the frequently Caucasian crowd to let their tastebuds buy a one-way ticket to Thailand. You keep it moving though, your weak constitution which is just aggressive acid-reflux will not allow the time to dine. The next option that could possibly satisfy those mouth muscle bumps is Redneck Gourmet. To the uninitiated, is it worth walking past? Yes. Is it worth pouring 6 liters of Orange Fanta into the bed of the miniature pickup truck outside of the restaurant and exclaiming, “Viva la revolución!” Maybe, it depends on whether the Orange Fanta was on sale. Now, getting down to brass tacks, which would be a more flavorful meal than most things at Redneck Gourmet, it’s just okay.
The journey continues. You hook a left and gaze your eyes upon Meat N Greet, a great establishment to eat meat, meet meat, say, “me meat” and experience a greet when walking in. What is Meat N Greet known for besides a clever title? Their hamburgers and hot dogs, their meat slabs and bologna cylinders, their German pigs and fiery dachshunds. We’re talking tough to mess up and tough to do exceptionally well food here but hot diggity damn they do it exceptionally well. Meat n Greet is another establishment, much like Vinylyte or The Red Letter Merchant, where you observe the unique characteristics of the town come to life. The kinds of places that you realize aren’t all Confederate statues and truck nuts but places with organic elements building upon an unlikely foundation.
What Newnan has that makes it unlike those other country suburbs is the town’s authenticity. This is an authenticity that perhaps slowly dripped from the big city’s oozing razzle and slimy dazzle. A place where you see a collision of cultures in harmony. The place where those Georgia Tech grads and duct-tape decal artists can put differences aside to admire Alan Jackson’s voluptuous hoochie coochie. Where they can sit across each other at RPM Full Service, sipping a Coors Lite through opposing straws, same glass, 1950s milkshake date style. A place where Ashleigh and Bobby can wait in line outside of Vinylyte for Record Store Day, where they’re dreaming of that new Olivia Rodrigo record and that Wilco box set. A place where a Zoomer named Sean can serve you locally-made ice cream that you panic eat as it melts down your hand onto the sidewalk. A place that you can rejoice that the authentic local flavor runs deep.
You may be reading this thinking “who gives a frick, I want some heckin unlimited bread sticks from Olive Garden” and that’s fine skippy, Newnan has that shit too.
About the Author:
Maximillian Von Roth is no stranger to Metro Atlanta, a sort of stranger to Newnan, and an absolute stranger to Herzegovina. He spent roughly 8 years in the Sandy Springs and Roswell area before falling in love and finding himself in the one and only Newnan, Georgia in early 2022. He enjoys writing pieces that are serious and absurd but deliver a point as smoothly as an Amazon driver combatting a heat stroke. Maximillian Von Roth is here to appeal to the cynic in all of us while ensuring laughs and levity are present along the way.
Newnan Time with Harold 