Ah, taco. Taco meat. Taco shell. Taco cheese. Taco smell. If there’s one thing I love more than the touch of my girlfriend, it’s the touch of a loving taco against my tingly, taco-craving, tongue. No euphemisms here–it’s taco Tuesday through Monday at the Harold Fiesta.
They are truly the perfect food, be it from Taco Bell or a 5 Star Taco Kingdom–I love TACOS! And as a Type 1 diabetic, it’s a safe food for me to eat, as the carb count is almost always predictable and kind to my body. I LOVE TACOS!
And across the street from my home (please don’t come over) they’ve been churning away at opening a brand new taco joint named Taco Azteca.
Unfortunately for the world of my favorite food, Taco Azteca is a short-lived experience that doesn’t quite put the “supreme” in their taco. It is an excellent start to a brand-new joint, but it’s not worthy of “regular” status yet.
The Taco Azteca can be found in the Bonnie Stone shopping center along with one other business: a probably overpriced barbershop named L.A. Hair Salon or something of the sort. I don’t know; I already have a barber, so I might be totally wrong. But thankfully, this review isn’t about hair unless you’re finding delicious hair in your taco, then it’s still about tacos.
I don’t look for much at a Taco Restaurant:
- Taco
- Variety of toppings and meats for the taco
- Delicious taco cheese
- Chips and Salsa
- Margarita’s or a cold gold beer
- Engaging atmosphere (not about to culturally appropriate nobody, but I like seeing things I want to learn about)
- TACO!
Azteca is the type of restaurant that your kid makes in Roblox. It’s so empty and bland that it doesn’t seem real, but the main ingredients (delicious food and fun) are high on the menu.
I know this review is all over the place. Let me finish this delicious taco (not from Azteca–I make my ground turkey tacos that are delicious), and then we will get back on track:
The Menu
When ordering at Taco Azteca, the prices will immediately stand out–in a good way. Each menu is digital and is shown on monitors throughout the restaurant. If you want to order, crick your head to read your options! It shouldn’t take you long to read, as Azteca’s menu is SMALL. Not counting the meat choices of the taco, you’re looking at about six or seven individual items on the menu. And while they offer drinks, you won’t find that on any television screen and will need to ask.
I have never been to a place without a Q.R. code or paper menu, and I was not a fan of it. At one point, the monitor in front of me lost signal and my food choices faded to blacccccckkkkkk. Call me old-fashioned: I like a menu in my hand, a cute woman in my lap, two bloodhounds by my side, and the American flag tattooed across my forehead, baby.
My girlfriend got the burrito Azteca (beans on the side), and I got four tacos (steak, shrimp, chicken, and tongue). As beverages, it was two glasses of water and a margarita. The margarita was disappointing for costing almost $8. I’d bet four tacos that the margarita was bought in a 12-pack of cans and poured over some ice. This was can margarita at it’s blandest. Even the salt tasted like it came from a can (which is fine–I don’t know where salt SHOULD come from).
But a taco is only as incredible as the taco is tasty (my grandpa would always say). Thank the taco gods; these tacos were delicious. Costing nearly $4 a piece is a bit of a shock, as these suckers are 3-bite small, but the quality of the meat and toppings help make it feel like an “almost worth it” purchase. I was okay with doing it as a taste test, but your food should cost at least $1 per bite, meaning Taco Azteca was too expensive for their portion size (when it came to the tacos).
Speaking of tongues (I know you were talking about mine), I ate tongue for the first time while at Taco Azteca, and it was WEIRD. It’s like a softer hot dog. And the smell? Like a cat giving birth. I apologize if that sounds crude. Once you smell it, you’ll agree there’s no other way to describe it. I am glad I experienced it, but I will go back to being a little b*tch when it comes to tacos!
On the flip side of the table, my girlfriend had a huge $12 burrito stuffed with meat, beans, cheese, and veggies. It was presented at a perfect temperature and delivered memorable moments throughout the feasting. It was delicious and made my little puny taco sizes jealous!
The problem arose when we both finished all our food and were still hungry. Why? There were no chips, salsa, or sides. The menu doesn’t even present them as an option. I don’t know if you can bring your bag of Tostino Scoops, but if I go back, I’ll have a back pocket full of them!
:crunch:
Never mind.
The Atmosphere and The Service
We will wrap these two up in one Tac-bow because there’s not much to say about them. The decor is nothing more than a few pictures, and the lighting and color design feel ” stay-at-home mom kitchen”esqe–it’s a lot a lot of grey. To put it mildly sauce, this place is boring but simple. Snoresville, Mexico. You can be boring on the inside when the food is remarkable, but Azteca doesn’t quite hit the remarkable bullseye. Delicious? Sure! Worth the money? Almost. Remarkable? Maybe in a few years.
Taco Azteca is experiencing growing pains, having only been open for about a month. Perhaps I visited a few months too early, but Harold can’t say no to a new taco!
One of the glaring positives is one I find true at most Taco Restaurants: the service is remarkable. It is quick and kindhearted, all your needs are covered, and every employee is very knowledgeable. I couldn’t have had a better experience with my serving team. If Azteca leans into that, they can get something special going.
VERDICT
The menu needs an upgrade, the prices need adjusting or sides added to the purchases, the atmosphere needs to be lightened up, and the business needs to promote better (it’s in a bad location). But the ingredients are there for delicious food, fast customer service, and ease of getting in and out. I don’t want to consider this their official opening, as it feels like a work in progress, but I am glad to have experienced what they can offer right now… I just won’t be back for a little bit!
C-
How does our grading system work? Everywhere we visit will receive either an A, B, C, D, E, or F. Your typical grading system, with what we call homeschooling added to it. And in the wild wild west of homeschooling, you can get an E grade as well. Here is how the letters shake out:
F – Absolute failure of a business.
E – Everyone should avoid this place, but if you’re dragged there for some reason, at least it won’t leave a scar on your life.
D – I don’t recommend going here more than once, maybe twice. But I promise you can do better.
C – It is totally normal to complain while you’re here, but there’s a lot to compliment while you’re Karen-ing it.
B – One of the better options–above average. I can understand why some would love this, but it’s not one of my favorites.
A – I am proudly a regular here and will do whatever I can to promote, grow, and inspire this business. We are blessed by their astounding existence.
Now, what about those pesky pluses and minuses? This is where you come in! Before I review anywhere, I go into the people and investigate a bit on how they feel. If the customers are saying trash, they get a minus. If the customers are saying recycle, they get a plus. And no limit exists to how many pluses and minuses one can receive! But typically, it’s only one. Let’s not get greedy. The locals (well, the locals that love Harold) feelings about the places I visit will absolutely influence the review. I can love a place with all my heart, but if you hate it then baby boy is getting a “-” slapped on its forehead.
Newnan Time with Harold 