BREAKING: Surprise Commission Vote Sends Project Sail to Senoia, Excites Jeff Fisher, as Council Fires City Manager & Assistant, Building Moratorium Approved
At last week’s commission meeting, commissioners quietly approved a surprise motion placing Project Sail exclusively in Senoia—a decision that caused Project Sail red-shirt protestors to scream with joy, celebrate wildly, and briefly forget they would still be homeless frogs.
But that wasn’t the only fireworks in Senoia. In a dramatic turn of real local government events, the Senoia City Council fired City Manager Harold Simmons (the second most important Harold in Coweta County), eliminated the assistant city manager position, and approved a 180-day building moratorium on new construction permits.
The idea of hosting Project Sail reportedly originated with Commissioner Jeff Fisher, who insisted on video that Senoia—and more specifically his own backyard—was the perfect site. Under the approved plan, Fisher’s yard will be transformed into a “state-of-the-art mixed-use data center,” replacing a grill, a swing set, and at least one dog with cooling towers, security fencing, and a permanent glow visible from space.
With real developers suddenly frozen out by the council’s moratorium on new building approvals, neighbors have already voiced frustration over constant construction noise—both from hypothetical hyperscale infrastructure and the council meetings themselves. Traffic has increased on what used to be just Jeff’s driveway, and constituents are now trying to figure out whether “building moratorium” is code for “Jeff gets more backyard,” or “everyone gets fewer homes.”
One neighbor described the situation as “annoying,” while another simply stared into the middle distance and whispered, “Why Jeff? Why did you have to say you’d want this in your own backyard!?”
Witnesses also report Fisher repeatedly wandering into the backyard construction zone with toy bulldozers, making engine noises and insisting he just wants to “help the grown-ups” and “move dirt like a real commissioner.” This level of personal enthusiasm ultimately contributed to a council meeting so chaotic that it cost the city manager and assistant their jobs, sparked a building moratorium, and left citizens wondering if the next agenda item would be a zoning change for Jeff’s garden gnome colony.
Council leadership emphasized all decisions—including firing government staff, freezing development, and rubber-stamping a backyard mega project—were made objectively and responsibly, with absolutely no regard for Jeff Fisher’s property line… even though it now appears on all the new site plans.
Newnan Time with Harold 