KEITH BRADY TAKES BACK WHATS HIS (IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE?)
In a stunning and deeply flowery turn of events, officials in Newnan are reportedly demanding a recount of the last mayoral election after former mayor Keith Brady was spotted returning to City Hall this week, but not to reclaim his office, to reclaim his Glade plug-ins.
According to multiple sources inside City Hall, Brady stomped around the office and removed every plug-in air freshener he personally purchased during his time in office, leaving the building in what one council member described as “raw municipal honesty.”
Within hours, complaints began rolling in.
“It smells like the DMV before it was in a movie theater,” one staffer said. Another compared it to “the inside of a roundabout after a week of construction cones sweating in the sun.” A third council member, requesting anonymity, described the aroma as “more cigarette butts than RPM biker gangs could afford”
By Monday morning, at least three council members were openly discussing whether a recount might be “in the best interest of the public’s noses.”
“We’re not saying the election was wrong,” one official clarified. “We’re just saying… the air was better.”
Several members admitted they hadn’t realized the plug-ins were personally funded by Brady. “We thought that was in the budget,” Shepherd said. “Turns out there nothing in our budget for anything.”
Since the Great Plug-In Retrieval of 2026, emergency measures have been implemented. Windows have been cracked. A box fan from has been stationed outside the council chamber. Someone lit a pumpkin spice candle left over from last fall, which briefly made the building smell like “a fall festival” but cost the city a visit from the fire department.
Meanwhile, Brady has declined to comment directly but was seen loading a suspiciously familiar cardboard box labeled “Lavender & Fresh Linen” into the trunk of his car.
Newnan Time with Harold 