There’s not a lot that Peachtree City has over Newnan. Do they have a thriving golf cart community? Yes. Do they make more money? Definitely. Is their crime rate lower? For sure. Do they hide the fountain of youth in their margaritas? We think so!
Ok. Maybe there is a lot.
But beside the point, Newnan manages to feel like home while Peachtree City feels like the daydream of a TEMU Stepford wife. Is it still a daydream if it’s a nightmare? What’s the term for a daytime nightmare daydream? Or is that just anxiety?
While we respect what Peachtree City has to offer, you don’t hear a lot about Newnan natives relocating to the land of Pineapple. And while we normally wouldn’t try and highlight a GOOD reason to move, today we’re taking a step out of our comfort zone and giving respect where respect is due: Peachtree City Residents DO BE DO BE DOO hot. And although I think it’s our gnawingly persistent work ethics that make Newnan look a bit more rugged around the edges, we have to admit when a solid Newnan 8 is a Peachtree City 5.
The good news is, while we are significantly less attractive, PTC is just a hop, skip, and a golf cart cruise to Hots Town. And what is hotter than a cop? A Harold. But after that? It’s COPS! The ranking of sexy professions goes like this:
- Harold
- Cops
- Hardee’s Employees
- Firefighters
- Dairy Department Workers at Wal-Mart
- Lumberjacks
- Male Models
- Lawyers
- Elementary School Teachers
- Servers on Roller-skates
We will do a separate post about the hottest Hardee’s employees another time (they haven’t signed the media release forms of the photos we took of them sleeping), but for now it’s ALL about the steam that PTC Po is serving.
Let’s take a look at the TOP FIVE Hottest Peachtree City Police Officers!
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OK! So, truth be told, I decided to write this article before I confirmed they have a staff directory page online. And while I did find this, it doesn’t include any photos. Some of the names listed SOUND very hot (not you, Kevin Brown), but I simply can’t confirm their toasty-tude.
Here, let me message the department to ask for photos. What I DON’T want to do is accidentally post photos of former-911’s that have been fired, passed away, or are going under a secret alias to avoid paying THEIR OWN parking tickets.
You. Gotta. Be. Kidding. Me.
The hottest City in the south doesn’t even know how to celebrate it. Honestly, the only explanation is that their hot-to-go’s have lately become not-so-woahs! I think I can accurately say, with complete confidence, betting my mustache on the line, that Newnan is NOW OFFICIALLY THE HOTTEST POLICE DEPARTMENT!
Just look at Deputy Chief of Police Jay LaChance:
He looks like a kind Uncle you’d find in a spaghetti western. That darker colored mustache? Hubbaduh Bubblegum, Uncle! He’s got eyes like the vampires in True Blood and a smile that LINCs to your heart.
This article was weird and likely just Part 1 in a series.
Newnan Time with Harold 