LOCAL MAN HEROICALLY “HELPS CLEAN UP” NEIGHBORHOODS BY STEALING NON-RUNNING TRUCKS AT 2 A.M.
An elderly Coweta County man has reportedly taken a creative approach to the classic “ISO old truck” Facebook post.
Instead of waiting for replies, he has begun quietly entering backyards at night and hauling off broken-down trucks “nobody was using anyway.”
Neighbors say the man, described as “retired, determined, and wearing a mask that doesn’t fit,” has removed at least four vehicles from wooded areas behind homes.
“He’s doing us a favor,” said one homeowner, gesturing toward a suspiciously empty patch of pine straw. “That truck hasn’t run since Bush was in office. Maybe the first one.”
The man allegedly leaves behind a handwritten note that reads:
“Didn’t think anyone would miss it. Helping you and helping me. – $0.00”
Shockingly, no one has pressed charges.
“Honestly? I was gonna list it for $800 but didn’t want to deal with Marketplace,” another resident admitted. “He backed a trailer in like a ninja with a AAA membership.”
Authorities confirm they’ve received zero formal complaints.
“We can’t arrest a man for stealing something nobody will admit they wanted,” one officer said. “Half the county’s got a 1994 Chevy dissolving into the soil behind a shed.”
The man was last seen driving slowly through subdivisions at dusk, peering through tree lines and whispering:
“Y’all ain’t got one old truck back there?”
Newnan Time with Harold 