BREAKING: Keep Newnan Beautiful has unveiled a bold new plan to improve the city: remove 200 people.
Officials confirmed a “carefully curated list” is already in use, with exit interviews underway. “It’s nothing personal,” a spokesperson said while crossing off another name. “We just think Newnan would really shine with fewer of you.”
Residents say the interviews are brief, mostly consisting of, “So… when can you leave?”
The first wave of names released includes:
Harold L., Jason P., Amanda R., Tyler B., Jessica M., Chris D., Lauren S., Mike T., Jonny H., Heather C., Abrielle W., Brandon K., Ashley F., Kevin J., Brittany G., Daniel N., Megan T., Zachary H., Nicole E., Cody S., Rachel B., Dylan P., Kaitlyn M., Eric W., Hannah D., Trevor L., Courtney S., Justin R., Morgan P., Alex B., Taylor H., Jordan C., Samantha L., Ryan G., Emily F., Austin W., Olivia T., Nathan S., Chloe R., Cameron D., Madison P., Caleb H., Savannah M., Logan B., Brooke T., Ethan J., Alyssa S., Hunter R., Sierra W., Blake C., Lindsey P., Connor F., Paige H., Garrett M., Vanessa L., Cole D., Marissa T., Kyle S., Jenna R., Noah B., Victoria G., Luke P., Sydney H., Evan C., Hailey M., Carter D., Kayla S., Owen R., Destiny P., Isaiah W., Gabrielle T., Mason L., Faith H., Aaron B., Trinity C., Parker S., Alexis R., Eli M., Miranda P., Joel H., Erica D., Grant W., Kelsey T., Dalton S., Chelsea R., Preston B., Autumn G., Marcus P., Bailey H., Derek C., Shelby M., Travis D., Lacey S., Colin R., Brianna P., Wesley H., Tara L., Shane D., Krista M., Chad S., Monica R., Corey B., April G., Dustin P., Tiffany H., Brent C., Holly M., Cody J., Felicia R., Greg B., Leslie P., Todd H., Angie D., Russell W., Kim T., Neil S., Carla R., Jerome B., Dana G., Ricky P., Terri H., Allen C., Vicki M., Leon D., Tonya S., Barry R., Paula P., Curtis H., Regina L., Glenn D., Sherry M., Dwayne S., Beverly R.
City officials say the list is still growing and encourage residents to “just kind of assume you’re on it and prepare accordingly.”
Newnan Time with Harold 