BREAKING NEWS
AN ARREST HAS BEEN MADE IN THE “CRAYON CRIMINAL” CASE.
After weeks of panic, confusion, and lightly waxed tabletops across Coweta County, Newnan Police confirmed Saturday morning that they have arrested “43 year old” (according to dating profile) local man, Dennis “The Doodler” McKinnon, accused of coloring directly onto restaurant tables and tablecloths at multiple establishments throughout Newnan.
Authorities say the suspect would calmly ask for crayons before allegedly creating “large scale crayon scenes” ranging from poorly drawn race cars to what investigators described as “an emotionally concerning attempt at a horse.”
The biggest issue in the case appears to be motive.
During questioning, McKinnon reportedly told investigators he was “confused which restaurants allowed it and which ones didn’t,” stating that some places hand crayons directly to customers while others become “real uptight once his stepdad gets drawn.”
However, witnesses claim the suspect was bringing his OWN crayons from home, including a 64 pack with built in sharpener, which prosecutors say shows clear criminal intent and “a level of premeditation not normally seen outside of organized coloring operations.”
One server told police the suspect allegedly whispered “I’m gonna make this table POP” before drawing an entire farm scene across a tablecloth.
A Coweta judge is expected to decide his fate next week.
Until then, local restaurants remain on high alert.
Several businesses have already begun locking crayons behind the counter while others have switched entirely to telling kids to “get lost.”
Newnan Time with Harold 