BREAKING: District 3 candidate Dakota Caldwell facing intense criticism tonight after residents discovered one of her chickens apparently went unnamed for “an unknown amount of time.”
Critics asking the hard questions:
“If she can’t keep up with every chicken in the yard, how is she supposed to focus on every citizen in District 3?”
Witnesses say Caldwell appeared visibly shaken after being confronted about the mystery chicken during what was supposed to be a peaceful afternoon of feeding bees or whatever she does out there.
In what experts are calling “a panic naming situation,” Dakota reportedly looked around the yard and immediately named the chicken after random objects in her eyesight.
The chicken’s current legal name is believed to be:
“Extension Cord Bird Feeder Tractor Bucket.”
Sources close to the campaign say the chicken answered to none of it.
Opponents now demanding a full chicken audit before runoff voting begins.
Newnan Time with Harold 