NEWNAN PD WARNS PARENTS: NEW LSD VARIANT “PINEAPPLE” REPORTEDLY TARGETING LOCAL YOUTH
The Newnan Police Department is warning parents about a new dissolvable form of LSD known on the street as “Pineapple.”
Authorities say the hallucinogenic substance produces effects similar to what it feels like to live in Peachtree City, including an unexplained desire to ride a golf cart everywhere, an obsession with master-planned communities, and the sudden belief that you are better than everyone else, despite your unbearable personality.
The substance reportedly dissolves on the tongue and can cause users to develop an irrational sense of superiority over people who live in Newnan.
Police are urging parents to speak with their children about the dangers of Pineapple.
“One minute they’re perfectly normal Newnan kids. The next they’re wearing a quarter-zip and asking where the nearest ‘good gas station’ is,” one officer warned.
Authorities remind residents: If your child starts calling Newnan ‘the country,’ seek help immediately.
