Newnan has too many and needs more…

In typical handsome as-hell Harold fashion, I recently posted a FILL IN THE BLANK prompt asking the Harold Army (the Harmy?) to gimme answers for:

“Newnan has too many _____ and needs more _____!”
– Handsome Harold

And boy oh boy, did y’all come through!

Today we will highlight a few of the answers that struck a cord that reverbed through the saxophone strings of our City of Homes.

Churches

Distilleries
– Nicholas R.

Well. Nicky came out swinging against our Lord & Savior in favor of our Swig & Savor! But the fella has a point because the steeple count in Newnan is MASSIVE! Last time I checked (hold on… googling it right now…) JoinMyChurch lists 68 churches in Newnan. And imma be honest, even that number seems a bit low.

Could I pull up a map and count EVERY church in the City limits? Sure!

Am I going to or am I going to watch another episode of WWE SummerSlam? Hmm? What’s that? I couldn’t hear you over the entrance music of Brock Lesnar.

Newnan has too many chain restaurants and needs more *insert chain restaurant*!
Matt R.

Ah yes. A commentary on hypocrisy. Who doesn’t love touting their support of local businesses? Who doesn’t MORE love Chili’s baby back ribs?

MORE love? More-so love? Morest Love?

Buildings

Nature
Reid C.

A version of this comment was the most posted comment. Newnan do-be-wanting-they grasses (according to people typing on their cellphones from the safety of their home/office/big building that they relax in while twisting an evil pencil mustache).

Here’s the problem with comments like this:

Choose any time of day on any day.
Go to any place in Newnan with some grass/nature.
See if it’s crowded. Even a lil’ bit.

Y’all don’t want the grass. Y’all want the IDEA of grass.

(which is either weed or body hair, I haven’t decided)

Roundabouts

good drivers
Kelly R. F.

Another repeated theme is “What’s they deal with all them roundy-boundy-boyz!!?”

And while I’m not legally allowed to reveal Newnan’s master plan for Roundabout Domination, I can say I understand the frustration. The sinking feeling of lifting your foot off the gas pedal and the unknowingness of what you’ll have to do (based on others’ behavior) as you approach a roundabout will ruin anyone’s driving vibes. It is a frustration much more suffocating than any red light/green light or stop sign (we know what to expect with those bitches).

You KNOW that an upcoming 4-Way Stop means “Imma stop here until it’s my turn.”

You KNOW that an upcoming greenlight means “We Gucci, Daddy Warbucks.”

You KNOW that an upcoming redlight means “Slow down, Harry Potter.”

Roundabouts are the Wildcard and they just… won’t… stop showing up. It’s not that we hate driving through them. It’s that we hate you driving through them. Sometimes a little predictability is OK in life. It’s why we’re all still married.

What else could we have less/more of in Newnan? Drop it below or come over to our Facebook and tell us more (tell us more, like does he have a car?)