If you’re anything like me (handsome, sexy, full of regret, tall as a lizard king, and handsomely sexy), you’ve worked many jobs. As a homeschool dropout, I do not carry the EXP to level up my career on a clear path. It is a STRUGGLE to get employed anywhere respectful, with a manager worthy of my love, and a paycheck worthy of my spending habits. I do not deserve a great job–I deserve the filth you find on the bottom of your Carhartt boots (do they make boots? I don’t know anything about them).
You might be thinking, “but Harold, you’re so hot! Can we kiss?”
No, sorry, committed relationship, and I love her.
“But Harold! PLEASE!”
Please stop.
“But Harold, you seem like such an intelligent young man. How do you have trouble getting work?”
Getting work has never been an issue, but the quality of work has always been challenging. I am as close to “qualifying for disability” as you can get without “qualifying for disability.” I won’t spend much time talking about my mental and physical disadvantages because you will neither believe nor care anyway! I know my body, and while gorg, it hurts. It hurts a lot.
So, with my experience working throughout Coweta County, how do I rank my “professions”?
For an extended review, please keep an ear out at Newnan Podcast with Harold (everywhere you get podcasts, plus YouTube) for the definitive ranking!
Twelve: Kroger
A short stint of “overnight stocking” at Kroger in Thomas Crossroads is at the bottom of our list. Why? It was awful. The largest issue was the shifts from Saturday nights into Sunday mornings, followed by church all day. It was impossible to maintain the schedule.
Eleven: Target
On another overnight shift (3 AM – 9 AM), I was offered a position resupplying shelves, but I couldn’t work alongside any of my co-workers. I still don’t know why or what my exact job title was. The fun part? Walkie-talkie.
Ten: Crooks Marketplace
This was my first job, and it was a job I actually loved. Why would I put a job I adored so low on my list? The Crooks are jerks. More on that at another time, but I’ve never had bosses that were so belittling to every employee.
Nine: Little Debbie
This was my first job without a boss (at least a boss onsight). My job was to restock shelves for Little Debbie. I was even paid with hidden cash tucked into a Zebra Cake box. Oh shit, I may have just been stealing Zebra Cakes for months and pretending the money was mine! GASP!
Eight: Wings N Things Summer Grove
A delivery and bus boy job that was highlighted by working with my best friend. I made good tips, made a lot of friends, and dealt with false claims of being a thief. My managers were my best friends parents, one of which was respectful and wonderful, the other was degrading and mean.
Seven: Pizza Hut Thomas Crossroads
An excellent job, but it hit me during a very rough patch of my physical health (and during COVID). I adored driving around and listening to books, but being on my feet for 5 – 8 hours in the kitchen was too much damage to my neuropathy. My manager was my best manager, and I got to work with my brothers.
Six: Frito Lay
This was like Little Debbie, but I was paid EVEN MORE and the Potato Chips were much easier to haul around. Buy a lot of chips in Newnan? You’re welcome (15 years ago). My boss was incredible and every manager I met across grocery stores was incredibly kind and appreciative. This is a job I would go back to if I could.
Five: Newnan Time with Harold
Believe it or not, I’ve made money on Harold’s social media. It’s much easier to believe it has not been much money. Translating something so silly into something professional is also a bit jarring. I love money, though, but I still prefer silliness for silliness’s sake.
Four: Wedding Officiant
Oh, you didn’t know?! I’ve been doing weddings/marriages for over 12 years and can easily be booked to do your next! I often times feel awkward hanging around the wedding after my officiating is done, but I love, love and only three of my marriages have ended in a divorce! Pretty good out of like thirteen.
Three: Horizon Heating & Cooling
Up until now, this was the most money I was making in a job and it was the most interesting I had ever been in a line of work. On top of that, my boss was my best friend and he was incredibly understanding of my blood sugar swings, headaches, exhaustion, and depression. I always felt like a great employee and that my work truly mattered. The difference in having AC and not? Insane.
Honorable Mention: MasterMind Escape Room in Peachtree City
Not in Coweta County, but MasterMind Escape Room is a beautiful place to work, aside from the pay and hours and the sometimes grumpy losers. Every co-workers and manager brought excitement to an already exciting place of business.
Two: Newnan Theatre Company
Shifting through politics is terrible, and NTC made it impossible at times, but the actual work I accomplished at NTC will be the work I am most proud of for many more years. Lives get changed at NTC, and if you’re able to, try and get involved in any way you can.
One: High Spirits Entertainment
I started my own company in 2023. If you see me hosting trivia, bingo, or improv, it’s because I bet on myself and used my time and finances wisely. I still have many goals I haven’t accomplished, but my eyes get wet with joyful accomplishment when I think about what my work life is like these days.
Newnan Time with Harold 