Newnan’s Mayoral Race Comes Home
Following a reasonable discussion on Newnan’s housing development, Newnan’s three mayoral candidates have volunteered to enter a Big Brother–style house, located in Historic Downtown Newnan, for voters to watch them over a LIVE FEED and judge their behavior for themselves.
In the first few hours, Danny Beck has been digging into his collection of “HOW DO POLITICS WORK” book series and trying to ignore his roommates. Production crew members have reportedly cautioned others that, “when he does talk to someone, he’s trying way too hard to look cool and be their friend.” With one member saying he turned a backwards cap around three times, called everyone “fam,” and asked the production crew if they knew how to “do the Dougie.”
“He keeps unironically saying ‘hashtag’ at the end of his sentences and offering me $5 if I tell him what a mayor does,” said an intern on set.
Meanwhile, Mayor Keith Brady (or as he insists on being called, “Mayor Keep Brady”) has been treating the house like it’s the city of Newnan itself. Every time he enters a room, he yells, “This is my property!” then scribbles his name on the walls, the fridge, even the toilet seat. Producers said he has labeled 47 items so far, including the neighborhood cat and Danny Beck’s dark-wash jeans that are two sizes too small. The producer was able to explain to Brady that he can’t tape off “every room in the house as his own,” which Brady eventually agreed to. He is currently taking his fourth nap of the day while The Andy Griffith Show reruns play in the background.
James Shepherd, on the other hand, hasn’t done much besides loudly complain about Brady. “You see what he just did? That’s classic Brady,” Shepherd muttered while brushing his teeth this morning. During downtime from debating, he submitted a recording of himself sighing and saying, “Keith Brady ruins everything.”
Voting for eviction begins next week but many locals say they’d prefer all three stay inside the house permanently.
Newnan Time with Harold 