BREAKING: After years of careful consideration, Dragonfly Running Company in Newnan has announced it will officially rebrand as Roach Running Company.
“We finally realized dragonflies don’t actually run,” said a spokesperson. “They fly. We’ve built our entire identity around an insect that’s terrible at the one thing we encourage people to do.”
The new mascot, an American cockroach, was chosen for its legendary running ability, unmatched survival skills, and its refusal to die.
Store officials say customers can expect the same great shoes, expert fitting, and motivational advice—just with a slightly higher chance of someone screaming when they see the logo.
The grand re-opening will feature the inaugural 5K Roach Scurry, where participants are encouraged to sprint the way they do after spotting something move across the kitchen floor at 2 a.m.
Newnan Time with Harold 